A Poor Cats Life

Four more days to Christmas

2008-12-22T09:10:00.000-08:00

Its me! I know I haven't posted in a little while. That is because I didn't want to and because I am king of the world and can do whatever I want, whenever I want to.
It is in fact four days until christmas. My slaves placed a small tree on my desk in my bedrooms and a large tree in the middle of my livingroom. I have been trying to figure out what the tree has to do with me, after all everything is about me. Oh well I may figure out later.

Later, Alex
aka King of the world.

Fall and Rain

2008-10-15T09:39:00.000-07:00

Hello Mortals, I have decided to once again grace you with another beautiful blog post (thank me very much). Summer went well except for that little upset with the flying box of horror. Thanks to some great suggestions over the summer (thanks to Tim, Anna, Rob, Jennifer, Mattie & me) the humans have submitted to my will an now humbly serve me again. Hehehe, suckers!

The summer was finally blown away by the North wind, and with it the sunlight. Yeah its fall, and I don't like it! Its cold, the suns hidden half the time, its cold, it rains ll the time, its cold, & its cold! I finally had enough of it. I sent an order to my slaves. "You are all herby ordered to open the doors and let me out." . Nothing happened, "Meow". Nothing, "Meow". Still nothing, "Meow","MEOW", Let me out! That got their attention. my slave mattie finally opened the door. "drip, drop", rain why was there rain? I hadn't ordered rain! What is this, mutiny is what it was. I stepped farther out, "In the name of me, you are ordered to stop falling!". Why was the dirt wet? I don't know (maybe it had something to do with the rain I don't know). What I did know was that I didn't like it, I made a B-line for the house.

Forget what I said about going out side. I stayed inside, ate cat food, took care of the indoor fly problem, & watched the rain. I didn't go outside.

Thank Me Very Much!

~Alex~

The Flying Box of Horror!

2008-03-17T05:17:00.000-07:00

I haven’t posted in a while because I am just now recovering from the terrible and evil that was done against me. I was first taken outside where the evil dogs barked I tried to run away but my slave wouldn’t let go. I screamed as loudly as I could and threatened to fire him but he kept holding onto me! Freaky hu? But wait the worst is yet to come!
I was then tossed into a silver box that began to make a loud evil rumbling sound. “Let me go now or I’ll fire all of you!” Do you think they listened? Fat chance, no one obeys me when I need them to. Despite there cries of “Poor kitty” I wouldn’t forgive them (a cat has to put his paw down somewhere). “It’s to late” I screamed, “you shouldn’t have thrown me into the flying box of horror!” “Your all fired!” Not even that made them stop! Do you know what they did? They made the box fly faster! I hid myself in the back of the box and cried as loudly as I could (No I never received any sympathy) . At long last the box stopped moving and I was put in a strange house ALONE WITH A STANGE DOG! “Hey guys, not cool guys!” “This isn’t funny!”

I survived at the house and at last I was thrown into the box of horror and we returned home. I would type more but I have to do this by my self because I don’t want my “slaves” to see. I need your help! I need to play some pranks on the humans to make them humble enough to serve me. Please email me with your idea for a prank! My email can be found under “My Profile”. Remember I need your help to force the slave back into line!

Please Help Me!
Alex

PS My email is alex4cats@gmail.com in case you cant find it yourself.

Wassup...

2008-03-02T07:23:00.000-08:00

... Not Much! Lucy (the dog) is getting fatter. Boggie (the other dog) brought his girlfriend over, so I ordered my humans to take her down the road and dump her. Boggie was sad for a while, but I told him that if she realy loves him she will return (I might point out that it was a week ago and she hasn't come back). So much for puppy love...
The humans have been throwing spring parties and have brought their friends over several times. Sadly no one listens to me when I try to tell them that I don't want to be held by weirdos! But oh well (thus is the card fate has played me).
The Rabbit is (as allways) as boring as if he was fake. I say that if you want a Rabbit you should have it with a side of Fries!
Oh well I need to go.
See ya if your ever down in Texas!
Bye!
~Alex~

7 Things About Me

2008-02-12T14:06:00.000-08:00

Ironic isnt it that I have 7 lives and I have to say seven random things!
I don't leap up on tables to get what I want, I Meow as loudly as I can untill I get what I want.
I like sleeping on John Lewis's bed the most why? I don't realy know.
I grew up a common barn cat, but I sweet talked Reagan (the sap) into picking me.
I'm dogist, Fishist, and racist to my own species.
I don't rub against other peoples legs, they get down and rub against mine.
Once apon a time I was left outside, the dogs chaced me up a tree and my fur hasn't gone down since.

My Tags hmmmm.. There aren't any left!

Advanced Species My Paw!

2008-02-12T13:15:00.000-08:00

This is a list of the top four problems with humans (this is why we cats rule the world).

1. Their LAZY, I mean they didn’t get up until the day was half over! Think about it they spend over half their lives ASLEEP! “Well we can’t see in the dark.” is mans excuse, why do you need a light bulb if you won’t use it?
2. Their BIG, this is probably why they are so stupid. If you have a body that size there is no way God could make a head large enough to make them as smart as us.
They are PROUD, does man have to use the bathroom in a box? No way! There to good for a litter box. Instead they have a $300 bowl installed into there home, that literally does the work for them!
3. They have EVERY luxury, there to good to purr to entertain themselves, instead they gingerly press their $200 I-pods that are attached to their $100 docks. Even worse they are to lazy to walk to a decent computer, they just lay in there $300 beds with a $500 laptop in their laps.
4. They are STUPID, not only do they have every luxury, but they won’t make other creatures do the work for them, worse they keep animals like dogs, and fish that will NEVER help at all!

Yeah right their SO advanced!

Hi!

2008-02-07T05:47:00.000-08:00

Hi this is Alex. I am starting a blog. Hopefully you already know this. Well realy I'm just
dictating to my slave (john) and he is writing for me. You see its kind of hard for me to type, I don't have ten fingers.
Ummm… I don’t really know what to type about, oh I know! My toilet running time! Yeah you see I have to get to the toilet as soon as one of my slaves flushes it. So they recorded my best times and now I will post them.
Toilet Times
1st 1:12 from one toilet to the other.
2nd 40 sec from the couch to the hall bathroom.
3rd 30 sec from my slaves shoulder to the toilet.
Ill post the awesome video of my best runs soon. Bye!